GOAT: League of gods review

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This is just a sarcastic review of League of gods. Enjoy

League of gods. It is a 2016 Hong Kong-Chinese fantasy film directed by Koan Hui and Vernie Yeung which I just recently happened to watch on Eng-dub. So how was it, it was amazing, one of the best movies I’ve watched. I watched it because there two familiar names to me, Jet-li and Louis Koo. Jet-li of course everyone know about him and I actually know Louis Koo from Rob b hood, a great movie check it out too.

I started watching this like any other movie, there were a range of characters from bald Sasuke to a talking baby to a Dr. octopus lady. Now this all sounds confusing but let me tell you it gets even worse. But before we move on take a look at the trailer to get some understanding(P.S you still won’t understand anything).

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Trust me, the trailer is much better even though it’s confusing. The story is Based on the 16th-century Chinese novel Feng Shen Yan Yi (The Investiture of the Gods), it tells of how King Zhou of Shang becomes a tyrant due to the wiles of Daji, a vixen spirit who is disguised as one of his concubines.

The story was really mind-blowing. It’s even better than star-wars, there’s aliens, dragons, dogs in the middle of apocalypse or something. One thing this movie excels is in peaking the viewers curiosity you never know whether it is a sci-fi or historical or a fantasy. It feels like watching a 100 films at once. I bet even Robert B. Weide would be proud of this movie.

An apocalypse, gold dragon, black dragon, leopard, dog, legendary desert centipede and a damn crane. What else do you need in a movie. Actually this looks like the Chinese version of the Lord of the rings and Inception mixed with a little bit of Star wars. In the end what I’m trying to say is that this movie is unbelievable(literally).

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Let’s move onto the characters and like I said there are a lot of them. There’s a talking baby who’s companions with Bald Sasuke who didn’t even realize that he had talking plant into his pockets. And by Bald Sasuke I mean literally, he can use Chidori or it’s just lightning coming out his hand for no reason but this time he’s the main character(you heard that Naruto). At one point he has wings but yeah truly a Revolutional character.

So Sasuke has wings uses electricity and the sword of light. Bald Sasuke has evolved a lot and is my new favorite version of Sasuke. And as usual Sakura was pretty much useless.

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Next we have the talking baby. Now he’s a likable character, he’s annoying, presumptuous, cocky, all the traits of a likable character. But there’s a big twist, he’s actually a adult human who was turned into a baby by Sea electro(from spider man).

The talking baby turns out to be sonic who just happens to look like a grown up Oompa-Loompa.

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Another phenomenal character. Now we move onto the Dr. octopus lady. Throughout the whole movie, she’s portrayed as the villain(I think).

So why is she Dr. octopus lady, it’s because she has some kind of robotic snakes coming from her back. I’s hard to see high-quality villains like this that too in HD, I mean Thanos is nothing compared to Dr. octopus lady.

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And finally we have Jet-li as a wise Nobel. I have nothing to say, it’s jet-li of course he did an amazing job.

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There’s more characters but that’s all I can remember.

One of the strong points about League of gods is the pacing, it goes faster than the speed of light. Before you could understand one scene it moves onto the other. There’s also some inspirational quotes from these wonderful characters.

“Never look with your eyes, always look with your heart”. It sounds like a cheesy line from a romance movie but it’s not, what it’s actually trying to convey is that you should cut open you heart in order to look for something that’s not there.

There’s also my favorite line from the talking baby “I’m not Jiang or Jong or jam”. Truly inspirational.

Last but not least “alpha rings I thought they were doughnuts” from some guy in the movie that I don’t remember.

This whole movie may look like a presentation filled with gifs and stupid transitions. If you think that then you’re a hater, it’s an awesome movie with high production costs that got poor IMDb ratings and will never get a part two.

This movie makes you question who the real protagonist is and I can’t wait for part 2 if it happens in the future, which will probably never happen. Do you believe in yourself, cause after watching this movie I rather believe in ghosts.

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Honest review

It’s not that bad of a movie if you watch with a sarcastic mindset like me. Yeah it’s bad, I mean it has 4.5 rating on IMDb. You could see how much effort was put into the movie, I mean the visuals were amazing but unfortunately poor writing drowned the whole movie. I actually wanted a part two for it, it was completely left in a absurd cliffhanger before the final fight and knowing I won’t get a part two is kinda heartbreaking.

This just a fun and random review I wanted to do. This was completely my imagination of how the film went on and finally if you want to watch this movie, don’t watch it with a lot of expectations and you might be able to get through it.

Thank you for reading.